Sunday, August 6, 2006


sunday night. this has been such a productive weekend for me. i did 17 pages and in the end LOVED them all. i still feel myself going in a direction that is new. and exciting. and i also feel myself still hampering and holding back creatively. why i don't know. maybe because i am so consiencious. such a pleaser. oh, can i just get OVER it? i will, i will. i saw "proof" tonight with jaco on our new $$ surround sound 7.1 dts and what not. all BOSTON speakers and a yamaha amp. impressive. (that is the movie and the sound). i LOVE the sound. i have always LOVED good sound. hard. rock. love it. finishing up some projects that has to be mailed tomorrow. only today i gathered that tomorrow is a public holiday. ok, so the mail will be going out on tuesday. i wish i could lock myself in this little room and not come out. inspiration speaking. "proof". that obsession that sees you going AT it for days and hours and through battles of the mind and creativity and eventualy let you come out victorious. a week i tell you. locked in i mean. no, make that a month. or two. sometimes the scrapbook page is just a page. then it becomes more than a page. then it becomes just a page again.

today dear pastor Stead spoke about expectation. do you have one? is it good? for good news? i am expecting. always. and know what? when you are in the mode of expecting the good to come, fate always test that faith. i had a test today. i know it;s a test. i wish i could claim that i passed it victoriously. i haven't yet. but i have not said anything about it either. psalm says that weeping last for a night but joy comes in the morning. maybe i am just weeping a little tonigt. but i know my joy will come. that knowing also says that promotion comes not from the east or from the west but from God. psalm says. that knowing that God has a plan and a future for me. who am i to doubt? i will not shrink back in fear but go forward in faith. my dreams are so big. and i feel His Spirit tugging at my heart saying: bigger!

how big are your dreams?
and are you expecting them everyday?
love and a kiss

1 comment :

sarah said...

YAY...i say dream bigger as well. God is the God of the impossible after all right? What we think is big He no doubt thinks is small fry. Love reading your posts. Have a great monday. :)