Monday, February 24, 2014

Let's be brave together.

Life is is hard. Period. And I know that perspective is everything: hard compared to what? I have not lost a child or even a parent, yet I say Life is hard. I know I need to adjust my view finder and see with different eyes... and I am trying. I guess each one of us fight our own battles. Everyone of us live in our own world of troubles and we don't have answers and clear cut paths. Sometimes it resolves and the hardship comes to an end. But in many cases it's something that just becomes a part of our lives and we learn to live with it. I try to teach my girls that it's not what happens to you that defines you, but how you handle it. And in the handling is where I think we can all be brave together.
I have been going through a hard time in my marriage for the past 3 years. I don't think I need to disclose the details, as it's not really relevant here or my story to tell (for now). But I have endeavoured to handle everything that comes my way with grace and as much peace as possible. 
It's not always easy. I will admit there have been many times that I simply couldn't do that. I will also admit that I have learned so much about myself in the process. I have discovered that I am stronger than I think. That I love myself more than I could ever thought: this is a good thing, by the way. Self love when times are hard is important. It gives you self respect. It makes you look at the world with softer eyes. I makes you hold your tongue when you want to lash out. I reminds you that you are wired for struggle but that you are worthy of love and belonging.
Self love equates to being your own friend. To be that familiar face in the mirror when negative feelings swirls around you. It causes you to believe the word that says: “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God “I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times; I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party. I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!”
Loving yourself means to be your own best friend. To talk to yourself in soft tones. To be kind to yourself and to look out for yourself. Not in a selfish manner, but in a tender hearted way.
Please don't think I am there. I am not. But looking back over the past 3 years, I am delighted to see that I have come closer to loving myself instead of moving further away.
A few weeks ago, I came to the realization that I have been neglecting my skin for months. I was so happy to discover this... because this meant I could actively make a decision to change. And I did. For the last 3 weeks, I have just gotten diligent with my facial routine at night. I even time myself and discovered that it takes me 2 minutes to go through the moves and climb into bed with a clean skin. This is but a small token of loving yourself. The other realization that I came to was that I have fallen out of the habit to eat healthy on a regular basis. So, i made changes and decisions and I really do feel so much better for it.
Loving yourself means that someone else's love (or lack there of) does not define you... It means that you are not paranoid when someone is cool with you... you have faith in your own heart. Loving yourself means that there is a quiet confidence within you that bears up under pressure.


Let's be brave together and love yourself more.



Wilna Furstenberg
iheartblog

 photo Wilna_ARTclass1_blinkie_zps6dd68ec3.jpg  photo Wilna_ARTclass2_blinkie_zpsc6b333e9.jpg

30 comments :

yasmin said...

Wilna
I just love reading your blog and love all of your projects, and your videos are great, it would be so fun to scrapbook with you in real life :) I can very much relate to your post today, so just wanted to send you a hug and tell you I will be brave with you :)
Yasmin

Jani Lewis said...

So true. These are things I say to myself a lot. Sometimes I listen and other times I don't. It is good to hear it said out loud. This validates the things that have been playing to myself and makes me feel empowered. Thanks for sharing.

reen said...

Beautiful Wilna. And so well said. These are things I've been working on myself lately. Specifically skin care, eating better, getting exercise, and loving myself.

Amber Sheaves said...

I'm so, so sorry, Wilna. I'm sorry for your marriage problems. I'm heartbroken for you. I am, however, happy for your personal growth and loving yourself. That is ever so very important. At all times. Even the small things like skin care! Yay that you are caring for your skin and your health now! Hugs to you.

scrapstreams said...

Dear Wilna, I love hearing your beautiful face and demeanor whenever you are a guest of PRT. I'm so very sorry to hear of your struggles, and can relate to them myself. Yes, we must first love ourselves before we can love someone else, or receive their love to the fullest. Please take care of yourself. You are so very brave, not only to put into words, but to do it publicly, the struggles and steps you are going through. Warm, gentle Fibro hugs from (cold)NW Michigan.

Chelsea said...

Wilna, I love your willingness to open up with your readers. So many times as mothers and wives we forget to make time for ourselves, so glad you are able to get back to that. Thinking of you!

Vanessa said...

If I was there, I would give you a big, big hug, Wilna! You are so lovable and sweet, and beautiful! I met you at the Mega Event from Scrapbook Werkstatt, so I know that you are irl, too! Don't let anybody tell you something different. It's good that you are trying to care better for yourself, that's something we mothers like to forget. Thank you for sharing your struggles so openly with us!
Vanessa x

Agn├Ęs said...

Thank you for those words that speak so much to me, in many ways.

jasmine said...

Life is hard. And marriage is REALLY hard. I think we all go through periods of struggling in our marriages. I think that's really normal... but no one likes to talk about it so I think we feel a bit alone when it's our turn to struggle. You have your eyes and your heart in the right place though because God is always with us. Always always always. Sending you lots of love and prayers, Wilna!

Laura said...

Dear Wilna, I'm sorry to know you've been going through a time of hardship. I agree with another poster who says that almost all of us (probably all, in fact) go through difficult times in our marriage, but often keep it to ourselves. I'm glad you are finding ways to take care of yourself. I hope things get better for you.

Cindy Theriault said...

Dear Wilna...like you so often say...love love love...it is the answer...ourselves 1st of all...sending you lots of my "love energy" as you find your way through difficulties...are you talking to friends?...counselor?...don't isolate yourself...taking good care of oueselves is a lot easier when we can talk and hug a friend...xx/oo's...Cindy

Jennifer streff said...

I like (love is a little creepy) you even more after reading this post.. I have been with my husband for 20yrs, and we have had our ups and downs.. I think people today give up to easy.. We made a promise to God, and that means something to us.. We are not perfect but we try and I think it shows.. We brought children into this world with our love, so we have to be adults and make it work!!! If two people love each other they can make it work!! Good luck, and I need to work on my skin too!!!!

Laura Turcotte said...

What a beautiful post! So beautiful, and true. Sending you a virtual hug, because I think you need it. Be strong, be brave.

Nancy said...

REALLY beautiful post, Wilna! Thank you very much for sharing! I will be praying for you as you continue your journey! :o)

Gina200 said...

Wilna, Thank you for sharing today and thank you for your inspiring words. I'm so sorry that you've having troubles. I wish you well and that you continue to love yourself and find strength in that. Sending prayers your way. Thank you for all you do for your blog readers and the scrapbooking community. I love seeing your work, your teaching and listening to you on your videos or PRT.

Anonymous said...

Wilna, I sobbed like a baby reading your post. Lately I keep telling myself "Speak your truth" "Find your voice" I always think of you when I tell myself those phrases. As women, we tend to give, give, give (to our kids, to our spouse, even to our pets!) and forget to give to ourselves. For two years I have been struggling with loss and change. It has not been easy. Reading your post was like talking to a friend. Thank you for your honesty and courage. I vow to be brave as well. Sending you a big hug, my dear.

robinann17 said...

Wilna - Your post today speaks volumes to me. First, your kind, loving self shines through your words. Keep loving yourself and keep loving others. Second, I am off work today to care for my mother who has been going through hard times with her health and it's so tough to see her pain and dispair. Third, God always has us in mind...I believe your post came out of your struggles with relationships and God had that in mind when you wrote words that would help others, like me, who are also struggling with relationships. I hope you know that all of us are carrying you you, just as you and your words are carrying us...and God is carrying all of us. I promise to be brave with you, together with all of us. Thank you so much dearest Wilna!

Tracey said...

Wow that was beautiful & so true.
We should all be nicer to each other because everyone is struggling with something even if they don't show it.
I hope you find peace, happiness & love.

ginny said...

Wilna,life is hard & we all need to be brave together. I'm so sorry for your troubles. Your sweet voice on your videos have soothed & encouraged my soul.Both of my grandchildren have had serious life-threatening health problems this year. Sometimes I feel so helpless, but like you, I realize I need to take of me too.

Emily Adams said...

Wise words <3

Tanya Hughes Australia said...

Wilna thank you for sharing so honestly and openly - As women we can all be brave together...I admire you and love your work. Thank you for your blog and for opening up your heart - such words really touched my soul...made me think...we are not alone in this world. Take care of yourself. I wish you every happiness. Love from Tanya in Perth Western Australia

Tilla said...

Liewe Wilna - die mooi en waar woorde maak my sommer hartseer ! Ek is werklik jammer om te hoor dat dinge so moeilik is en kan net dink dat dit heeltemal dreineerend is ! En deur dit alles skep jy die mooiste kunswerke en skyn jou pragtige siel deur ! Jy is ongelooflik dapper - baie sterkte met hierdie pad wat jy moet loop, jy is nooit alleen nie. Dink aan jou en jou pragtige dogters Tilla246

Kripa Koushik said...

Am too emotional right now to express myself in words but hats off to your courage. U r dec teaching your children a v valuable lesson and life skills. Hugs.

Anita said...

You are vers brave! Hats off to you:)

Meghann said...

Very beautiful, Wilna. I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Keshet said...

I will be thinking about you and hope things are getting better.

Charni said...

Thank you for sharing, and the wise words. Can 100% relate, sterkte!

Merilee Lane said...

Dear Wilna,

Today I found your blog for the first time. After watching a few of your videos on youtube, I loved you and wanted to know you better. As I scrolled through your posts, I came upon this one and, just as all of the other readers, your words spoke to me personally. They touched my heart. I, too, am going through difficult times in my marriage and my life. I, too, have found that I have come a very long way in learning to love myself, and I am proud of my resolve to be kind to myself, respect myself and love myself, no matter how anyone else feels about me. I realize now that what others may think of me is none of my business. My only business is living the best life I can live with honesty, a true and loving heart, and reverence for myself and the world around me. My self worth is between me and God and nobody else. I try to share every moment with Him. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt struggles. I'm certain it wasn't easy, just as it isn't easy for me to write this response to you. You are absolutely right--God is with you and me and all who seek Him. He will see you through. He will never leave your side. And He will give you a new perspective and new hope. I have seen that my life can be anything I choose. I only need to dream to make it a reality. That is why God gave us dreams--to realize them, whatever they may be. In my case, I believe it may be time to live a new life--one I hadn't previously imagined. It may be time to reinvent myself. And that's okay, as God is with me each and every step of the way. When God closes one door He opens another. I will join your brave journey and will send prayers and love your way, as well as to the many other readers who responded sharing a piece of their hearts. Good luck to you! I will be back often to watch you grow in your life.

With love,
Merilee

embracingthenest said...

You are absolutely right. And your words are beautifully put together. Thank you for your gift. But I just have to tell you this funny. Yesterday I watched a video that you made and heard your voice for the first time. So when I read your words this morning, I could hear your voice and accent reading them to me. It was wonderful! Happy happy happy Sunday!

Kathleen Kibblehouse said...

As Maria Von Trapp said in the Sound of Music: When God closes a door, he always opens a window. And I am so inspired by the "window" you are finding in your life right now. Sending love and support and a little pixie dust!