Save your time: here's the entirety of Twilight in 20 dialogue snippets & a wiggedy-wack intermission.
First 200 pages:
"I like you, Edward!"
"You shouldn't! I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"But I'm dangerous!"
Next 50 pages:
"I'm a vampire!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"But I'm a vampire! I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
Next 100 pages:
"I like you, Edward!"
"You smell good, Bella. I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"Damn, you smell good."
"I like you, Edward!"
"Also, I glow in sunlight."
Next 50 pages:
A. VAMPIRE. BASEBALL. GAME.
(I wish I was kidding)
Last 100 pages:
"Help me, Edward! I'm being chased!"
"I'll save you!"
"Help me, Edward! I'm scared!"
"I'll save you!"
"Oh, Edward!"
"You smell good."
(One half star for lack of quality, and one half star for being unintentionally hilarious... especially page 314.)
First 200 pages:
"I like you, Edward!"
"You shouldn't! I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"But I'm dangerous!"
Next 50 pages:
"I'm a vampire!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"But I'm a vampire! I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
Next 100 pages:
"I like you, Edward!"
"You smell good, Bella. I'm dangerous!"
"I like you, Edward!"
"Damn, you smell good."
"I like you, Edward!"
"Also, I glow in sunlight."
Next 50 pages:
A. VAMPIRE. BASEBALL. GAME.
(I wish I was kidding)
Last 100 pages:
"Help me, Edward! I'm being chased!"
"I'll save you!"
"Help me, Edward! I'm scared!"
"I'll save you!"
"Oh, Edward!"
"You smell good."
(One half star for lack of quality, and one half star for being unintentionally hilarious... especially page 314.)
8 comments :
I was just in a bookstore today looking at these books. I could not get into the movie although I've tried to watch it many times. All my 8th graders recommended it to me and I the book just could not hold my attention.
This review is hilarious and let's me know that I'm not missing out by not reading this series. Thanks for this.
Ha ha! Always wondered what Twilight was all about - will definitely be reading page 314 in a bookshop today! Thanks for this.
Well, I really enjoyed the series! I'm a hopeless romantic...what can I say?!?! It's another version of Cinderella...boy sweeps girl off her feet. So long as you can differentiate between reality and fantasy! Some girls can't!
yep, that is the gist of the movies too. hahaha
LOL Wilna, yip that's Twilight (the condensed version).
But, I have to admit, I enjoyed the books. They were rather entertaining, quite funny and escaping to that fantasy world was fun. I found here and there they could have been shortened a little though. The movies- don't have a patch on the books. I found they lacked detail.
I would absolutely read these books. I ordered them all at the same time because I thought it would just be sad to not read them. They are, after all, what has been called a phenomenon. I could NOT stop reading the first three. I was the consumed by them...literally...I finished them all within a week or so, and THEN I watched the movies. The fourth one got a bit off track, in my opinion. I mean, it's nice to get the story of what happens after boy meets girl, but it felt a little dragged out to me. Don't be stuffy, Wilna....read them! :) We don't go into books like these looking for answers to big questions, we read books like these to give our minds a little break from all the serious stuff we are always reading to make ourselves better human beings.
lol...oh, goodness. :) That's pretty funny! I'm definitely going to check out 314, now, too!
i think this is hilarious. . . not much into the rage, but Twilight had me wondering if I too was actually missing something - I guess I can rest easy knowing it was just another book/movie. . . LOL! TFS!
PS - i will get back to organizing my scrapbooking room now ((( '.' )))
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